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Today I am Sad..

And I think that’s okay. Somedays one just needs to be sad. I have been a caregiver to my son for almost 23 years now. It has not been easy and I would not wish it upon anyone. Doing daily care 24/7 of feedings and diapering and bathing and transporting is a harsh reality. And it’s a minor part played out next to those days of watching your child’s sufferings that you cannot control let alone fix.

Yes. Today I will just be sad. It is nice to have some help. Some relief. Some spare moments to do the “regular stuff” of meal prep, and cleaning toilets or simply taking a shower. Yet it comes with its own set of circumstances that I would not wish upon anyone. A stranger in your home. Your sanctuary. Your safe place. That is supposed to care for your loved one. And it can, sometimes, come with too high a price. I’ve had things stolen, food eaten, more cell phone usage than patient caregiving. People just not show up or call out at the last minute. One screaming at the top of her lungs at me in front of my son and another tells me I am going to hell, no matter how good a caregiver and mother I appear to be. Yep, I have even had someone try to report me for improper care and another try to seduce my husband. Yup… the bad was outweighing the good.

So, forgive me if I am just sad today. It is just for today. And of that I am certain. And, how do I know it will not last? Now that I have found the right tools to help me through these very times. I choose Melissa today. It will help relieve me from that hopelessness that can sneak in and try to take over. And I will add Console and Forgive to my regimen and all will be right with my heart and my soul. I know what you’re thinking. It sounds too good to be true, I know, but after all I’ve been through, I would not, could not, steer you wrong. A caregiver needs all the help they can get without a price that’s too much to bear and the value received is immeasurable.

So, today, I am sad… but just for a moment…

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